By Marjorie Miller, Assistant Director of Student Involvement
This post is part of our "What is Love?" series. Check out more by following the "What is Love?" tag.
When asked to reflect on the theme of love and my world view in the month of February, I could not help but think about Valentine’s Day and the way that the holiday and my view of love have changed throughout my life. While I am writing from a Christian perspective, I hope that you find pieces of my story that resonate with you and the way you show love to others regardless of your worldview. The class Valentine’s Day party in elementary school was a highlight of my year. I loved the glitter, the snacks, and the act of selecting valentines or small gifts to share with my classmates. The day always felt magical and uplifting because of the love, friendship, and sugar that filled the air. When I stopped making Valentine boxes for school in third grade, I lost my excitement for Valentine’s Day. The day changed for me from a day to celebrate friendship and giving, and turned into a day that could only be celebrated if someone had a romantic partner. When the end of January rolled around, I was never interested in the cheesy stuffed animals or the heart-shaped chocolate boxes. In fact, I typically third-wheeled with my parents at Chili’s on February 14- lucky them. Throughout high school and college, my lack of interest with the Hallmark holiday continued as I watched my peers go on dates while I, single as a slice of Kraft Cheese, ate a pint of ice cream at Ames. I now know that I was looking at Valentine’s Day and love through a skewed lens because I was only focusing on one type of love, romantic love. The ancient Greeks called this type of love eros. Eros is a wonderful form of love and is so worthy of being celebrated each February, but it is not the only type of love that I can feel or recognize on February 14. The Greeks had different words for different types of love, and I think this is a beautiful example of how we can celebrate different loves in February and throughout the other 11 months of the year. I was introduced to this concept as I began to study the Bible more in my early twenties and learned about the profoundness of agape love. Agape love can be described as the love of God, and as a Christian, it is this type of love on which my faith is based. When I center my identity on who I am: a loved child of God, I am relieved of the stresses and pressures of feeling I have to earn the love of others. A third type of love identified by the Greeks is philia, the love of friendship. In fact, the city of Philadelphia is known as the “City of Brotherly Love” for this reason! It is this type of love that inspires me to live out the commandment in Mark 12. In this passage, Jesus shares that we are called to love our neighbors as ourselves as it is one of the greatest commandments. I love celebrating philia love- the love I have for my friends, family, and even strangers- all year round, but especially on Valentine’s Day. This year, I sent cards to all of my galentines (it’s a Leslie Knope thing), my mom and I are going to deliver bundt cakes to folks who are isolated due to COVID, and I plan on spending the afternoon snuggled up with my dog on Sunday- and I am so excited! So, whatever kind of love you are celebrating this week, remember that your love is important and worthy of being celebrated. You are loved and worthy of being loved, and my hope for you is that you will rest joyfully in that truth! One of my favorite authors, Bob Goff, says that “Love is never stationary. Love does.” How can you show love and be love to someone this week? I don’t think you’ll have to look too far.
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